Believing Your Own Awesome

At what point do you let yourself believe your own Awesome? I had two clients pay me very big compliments over the course of the last 24 hours. And in both instances, my initial thought was “phew. Pulled that one off!” Really? What is that? Why not let myself believe I am exactly what I am to them and what I’ve been to countless clients over the last 7 years? I have two theories on that. The second is probably the most likely. So let’s start with the first. The first is if I let myself believe my own awesome, then I’ve got an ego. And having an ego means I’m a full of myself, class A jerk. It could also mean I stop working to learn and challenge myself. I lose my hunger and my edge. I also realize most of that is likely complete lies I tell myself. Like I said, it’s a theory.

So onto theory #2. If I believe it my own awesome, then it’s real. And that is scarier than any ego I’ve ever come up against. It means I am truly as good as they say I am. And that means I can go as big as I’ve ever wanted to go. I think that’s been true for a long time. But it’s easier to stay small. To quietly make enough money to contribute to my household, pay for the extras, take my family on vacation. But going bigger (which I really do want), means really going bigger. Saying out loud what my clients say to me. That I really am awesome at what I do and how I do it. That those ideal clients are truly attainable. On a consistent basis. I know that because they are happening.

I pour my true heart into my craft. I light up when I do it. If you’ve worked with me, you’ve seen the pure joy I do not hide when I glance at the back of my camera. Like a little girl.

So, there it is. Plain and simple. We are our own roadblock to believing our awesome. It’s easier to be “good.” Great is overwhelming. I’ve told many people in my life, I am painfully self-aware. I know my potential and I know what keeps me from achieving it. Stupid self-awareness.

And by the way, if you’re waiting for me to provide an all-encompassing answer to get past this, I don’t have it. But I’m certain I’m not the only person who feels this way, so I’m sharing. I will figure it out, in time, as I’m a constant work in progress. 

Holiday Card Crunch

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Ok friends. It’s December and it’s crunch time. Yea, yea. I know you’ve got presents to buy and middle of the night elfin panic attacks to have, but I’m talking about your holiday card. It’s time. And for any number of reasons I completely understand, you did not get on the calendar of a professional photographer this year. Trip and fall, root canal, acne breakout. Or perhaps, it’s something simpler such as budget restrictions or schedules that include 17 sporting events every weekend. The struggle is real.

So now it’s on you. You, and you alone, are charged with capturing your own brood of lunatics. Or angels. I wasn’t in your house this morning, so it’s none of my business. But photography is my business. And to show you there’s no hard feelings for your obvious neglect for putting money in my pocket this holiday season, I’m going to share a few pro tips with you to ensure no one ends up with an injury. Oh, and that your hundreds of friends and family are putting your card front and center this year. 

 Disclaimer: You will not see any of my recent client work on my blog in November and December. I have an innate fear of positing their holiday card selections before they’ve been allowed to shock, awe and delight those closest to them.

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TIME OF DAY

Photography is all about the light. And certain times of day can usually guarantee certain types of light. The so-called Magic Hours are the hour or two after sunrise and the hour or two before sunset, most especially on a bright and sunny day. These hours are when the sun is low in the sky, providing softer, more forgiving light. When the sun is high at midday, the result can be squinty eyes and blown out highlights or very harsh, deep shadows.

Should you find yourself with no other good time to shoot than at high noon on a sunny day, find some open shade. That’s the shade right where the sun drops off. Closer to a structure or tree.

Disclaimer 2: There are certainly ways to work with this light and make it awesome. However, unless you’ve got lots of time to play, you’re best served leaving that time of day to a professional. If they’re worth their salt, they can shoot anytime. So don’t fret if you hire a good professional and they only time slot he or she has available is noon.

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Another thing to keep in mind with time of day is your particular child or children’s “good times.” With babies, right after a nap is best. Or with toddlers, late in the day can be really rough as they are spent and can be very cranky.  Or so I’ve heard. My toddlers were perfect.

CLOTHING

I always tell my clients to put their children in clothing in which they’ll be comfortable. If they are not comfortable, they will look exactly as such in the photos. Uncomfortable. And in all honesty, you’ll want to look at the photos one, five and ten years from now and be able to say “that was so them,” even if you hated the superhero shirt she insisted on wearing everyday (sorry, Mom).  My point is, if your 8 year old is in a leisure suit when he much prefers jeans and tees, he’s going to act like he’s in a leisure suit. Not good.

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DISPOSITION

And I don’t mean the kids. When I am shooting families, more often than not, I will have to tell Mom or Dad to go away. In the nicest way possible, of course. If your child is acting up or not cooperating during our shoot, you, as parents, get agitated. Rightfully so. But the kids know it, and we all know what happens from there. So it's best you let me handle it. But, if you have to be the one taking their photo, be patient. Slap on a smile and bring out the playfulness, even when you’re ready to lose your marbles and start handing down beat downs.  

Finally, let them have fun, but work efficiently. Kids, especially the young ones, only have so much in the tank. Remember, you don’t need 25 perfect pictures. You really only need one or two for the card.

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I hope this helps. And remember, should all else fail, you know where to find me.

Happy Holidays, friends!

Getting Personal

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It was a really great summer. Professionally, but mostly, personally. Lots of great family and friend time. Laughs, vacations and visits. And lots of time to reflect on the amazing people in my life. My daughter has been on my mind a lot this summer and, per usual, I’ve written it down.

You see, we have this son. His name is Ryan. And I’ll make no apologies for saying that he’s cute. Straight up adorable. People stop me on the street to let me know.  It’s always been that way. He’s funny, kind and a great conversationalist at the ripe old age of 6. He’s infectious. If you’ve met him, you know what I mean.

AND we also have this amazing daughter. Her name is Casey and she’s a few weeks shy of 9. For as long as she’s been aware, she’s seen everyone she knows fawn over how cute her brother is. How you could “just eat him up.” From teachers and adult friends of ours to teenagers and even her own peer group.

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Henny and I are not at all oblivious to the fact that although extremely beautiful and wonderful in every way possible, she’s older and people are likely going to be making a fuss over him for a long time. This is not to say people don’t ever fuss over her. They do. But Ryan tends to garner a little more attention. It is what it is. And one of the things that make her so unbelievably amazing is that she seems to have accepted it for what it is. She’s poised, elegant, funny, happy and possesses a level of grace probably rather rare for her age.

I’ve seen all of this for a while now but was never quite sure when she would truly understand what I felt I needed to say to her. That time just came. She and I walked hand in hand to the store to get some things while on our beach vacation in August. I told her that I was very aware of what a big deal people make about Ryan. She nodded in understanding.  I then proceeded to tell her about all of the wonderful things people say directly to Henny and I about what a lovely young lady she is becoming. And although she did love hearing that, I most wanted her to know what I, personally, felt and what I see everyday.

Casey has experienced a lot over the last few years. Unfortunately girl “BS” starts at a very young age and continues. For. A. Long. Time. We’ve had a lot of tough conversations about what she is experiencing, what she can expect and how she ought to handle herself in certain situations. She listens and truly makes an effort to see these situations with empathy and a clear understanding that very rarely, if at all, are they about her. She tries very hard, even when it hurts, to follow the Golden Rule.

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And then this summer we made the move from one swim club to another. Both kids loved the previous pool but were excited to join the new one and to be on a new swim team with so many people they already knew. But it was still a change and she had to navigate relationships that had existed long before she came along. Not always easy but most certainly worth it. And they both had a great summer.

That day when we walked together at the shore, I made it very clear that her father and I, and so many others, are in awe of the manner in which she conducts herself. I told her she’s genuine, elegant, intelligent and an absolute joy to be around. She beamed with such pride and I knew it had been the perfect time for this mother/daughter chat.

Daughters are tough for their moms because we want to shield them from every difficult thing we went through and we want to scream at the top of our lungs when we cannot do that. But what we can do is provide them the tools to handle themselves with grace, build them up when their confidence needs a boost, and hold them when it hurts. Casey may not have the same type of fuss made about her as her cutie-pie little bro, but I feel confident she knows that she’s every bit as amazing. And we will do our best to make sure she’s reminded often.

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Year in Review

I still look back at starting this journey more than 5 years ago and remember how afraid I was to start. What if I failed? Fell flat on my face? I had a hard time even saying I had started a business. I kinda felt like a fraud. That's a distant memory now. 2015 was a better year than I could have imagined. And rather than talk about it, I picked some of the many highlights from the year to share. Thank you to all who made it such an amazing year. From the cities and beaches of NJ and PA and all the way to Chicago. I'm beyond grateful.

Jamie

When you get a look at this beautiful woman, you will be shocked to find out that she does not like herself in pictures. Never has. Until now. This is why I love this job so much and why head shots have become one of the most fulfilling aspects for me. When people tell me that they never like photos of themselves, I get excited because I know we will make something beautiful. And with Jamie, like so many in the past, I knew it immediately. I look through my lens and I see the beauty that they do not. It’s not their fault. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like herself. It’s just that we’re all our own worst critics. But I looked at the back of my camera during our shoot and told her she was going to be very happy because I saw so much beauty there. Patting myself on the back is not the main reason why I wanted to share Jamie’s session (although I do enjoy that too). From one entrepreneur to another, I am really excited for her. Jamie is a registered dietician with her own growing Arbonne business. Arbonne sells skin care, cosmetics and a nutrition line for overall health and wellness. Not surprising that, as a dietician, Jamie specializes on the nutrition side of the Arbonne business. For awhile, she was working with Arbonne as a supplement to her full time dietician position. In the more recent past, she was able to leave the full time job and dedicate herself completely to the growing business and her two young children. She’s happy and energized. It’s a beautiful thing to see and it translates in her photos.

And finally, Jamie and I went to high school together. We had not seen each other for the better part of 15 years and I was really happy to see her again and honored she trusted me to do something that made her very uncomfortable. In addition, her father was arguably my favorite teacher in high school. His English class was a haven for me. In addition, he was supportive and encouraging to me during a challenging teenage time. So Mr. Brady, congratulations on raising a beautiful, smart, talented woman. And I thank you so much for having strongly supported another.