Relaxation and Resetting

Week one has come to an end and it was wonderful. We started it out, just the four of us. And then we had some visitors. Some expected. Some unexpected. But all were welcome and great to have.  

But now it’s Monday, and for this week, it’ll just be us again and I’m really looking forward to that. The kids had a tremendous first day at surf camp (a separate blog for later in the week) and as soon as we got home, we decided it was time for some relaxation and resetting. The kids curled up on the couches with their iPads and blankets. The dog rolled up on the floor nearby and I proceeded to clean house. A day to sweep away all of the first week’s sandy feet, vacuum the hallway and bedrooms, burn through heaps of laundry and wipe away the toothpaste from various children’s inability to rinse the sink.

It’s beautifully slow moving in here. Music is playing in the background. There’s a puzzle going on the kitchen table and I’m enjoying the perfect size of this place that the owners refer to as their “cottage.” Save for the bedrooms and bathrooms, we are all in one room. We don’t always have to be talking or doing the same thing. But we are all together. And I’m loving every minute of it.

Surf camp will be my next installment. I may be loving it as much as they are.

Gratitude

I’m sitting here enjoying yet another morning on the porch with my coffee looking at the ocean thinking how grateful I am that we get to do this. And it’s not a gratitude that has me needing to thank someone for providing it. It’s a gratitude for the life we have built that allows us to do this. 

Henny and I first started dreaming about this over the winter. Making a big summer change. Our kids have been on the swim team for 4 years and have loved it. The pool is our summer family. Hell, I’m even on the Board. But we couldn’t let it go. Knowing that the older they get, the busier their summers will be. He’s a baseball dude, she’s a lacrosse lover and they both really enjoy swim.  So our opportunities to drop off are numbered, for certain. 

So we researched and it was daunting. The money was bigger than we were prepared for but I couldn’t stop wanting it. Determined to make this a reality, I told Henny that I would pay for it. Now, there’s no “I” in our marriage or in how we manage our money. But I said that I would work for the money to pay for this time away. It would come straight from the Kelly Hennigan Photography bank account. And it did.

Through months of some lull in the pipeline (happens every year) to the months spent working through the pain from a herniated disk and a stress fracture in my hip. My doctor, and dear friend Trina, got very tired of hearing me say “you have to heal me. I have work I can’t miss.” And no matter how badly I felt, I didn’t miss any of it. Because I had a goal.

So…I’m grateful. For the life we have built. For the hard work that has paid off. And for the people who have trusted me to capture the images for their businesses and the memories for the families. Because without them, I wouldn’t be able to make these memories for mine.

Sunkissed and Stargazing

“Do you think the stars are out yet, Daddy?” When I heard those words, I knew we’d done the right thing coming here for so long. Sunkissed faces, outside showers and pajamas on the deck for dog play and stargazing. I couldn’t want more out of this summer getaway.  

I haven’t used a blow dryer or a stitch of makeup since we arrived Saturday afternoon. It’s liberating. Ponytails and trucker hats are all that is needed. We’ve spent long days on the beach, until the lifeguards are gone and boogie boarding can be done anywhere. We’ve walked to Nickelby’s for donuts and coffee in the morning and to Scoops for ice cream at night. And there is lot of chatting, Dude Perfect and DIY videos, Ipad games and the occasional outburst of laughter from their respective spots in their bunk bed room.

The surf lesson on Sunday from Avalon Surf Camp in preparation for their upcoming camp week was a success. My little parkour buddy used all of his training and ridiculous core strength to pop up and ride his very first wave and the many that followed. Can’t wait to see what they do in camp.

And we’ve only just begun.

I’m not stupid. I know not everyday will be bliss and the kids will fight and we’ll all get tired and cranky. But I know, for certain, that tired and cranky here at the beach, beats tired and cranky at home every time.

I just read a perfectly timed article about how our kids are overscheduled and need time for free play. Well kids, free play away…

Going Away for Awhile

I can’t believe I have not posted since last October. Or I guess I can, given that I just wasn’t ready to write anything down for awhile. So I’m excited to be back on the blog and hope to be making more visits. Work has been wonderful and I’ve been busy doing what I love and giving everything else I have to my family. But I’m happy to come back to my other passion. 

Like the words in a Brett Eldredge song, “I’m going away for awhile. But I’ll come back with a smile.” I’m leaving with one too. My family and I are dropping out for awhile this summer. We are putting the brakes on what is typically a fast paced summer full of swim and dive team practices and meets, me being on the Board at the Swim Club, tournament lacrosse, baseball and sports camps. We need it, we want it and we’re taking it.

The time between last summer and this summer was challenging for all of us. I have been dealing with multiple muscle and bone injuries that I’m still working through with a fair amount of pain. Casey battled migraines and all of the anxiety and treatments that accompanied those. She was brave through it all and gratefully, she’s done very well since a chiropractic adjustment to her neck. And Henny and I spent a lot of time working closely with Ryan to help him cope with anxieties and worries that were way too big for a 7 year old. And I’m thrilled to say that right now, he’s thriving. He’s happier and lighter and much less fearful. Safe to say he’s crushing his 8 year-old life. Stronger and more resilient than I ever imagined possible. 

While in the middle of a lot of that crap, we decided that the four of us needed to be just the four of us. Fast forward to the end of June, when we will head out on a month+ away at the beach. Just us. Henny will do a lot of back and forth from the office and I will work down there when I’m able, with a few beach shoots already on the books. We have room for visitors and will happily welcome them. But I am really looking forward to long, lazy mornings and days that turn to nights on the beach. Bike rides to get donuts and ice cream and introducing our puppy to the sand and salt water. Nights spent reading books (and enjoying a few cocktails) on the deck and doing puzzles at the kitchen table. The kids are going to do a surf camp and I hope they love every minute of doing something Mom and Dad cannot teach them. 

I hope to absorb and suck up every minute of this time away and I want all of us to remember every bit of it. So, I’m going to do my best to document it with my camera and write about it here on the blog. I’m not stupid. I know that it won’t all be roses. Raising two kids will never be that and we’ll have our moments. But those are part of it, too. To expect anything different is setting dangerous expectations. I also know they will only have each other. And often when that’s the case, they genuinely enjoy each other. They will sleep in bunk beds in the same room, as they’ve always done when we are away from our home. I anticipate lots of giggles before bed and a definite night visitor in our room from time to time. And I will do my best to enjoy all of it. 

“We will miss you,” has come up a lot from our great friends and neighbors and I know I will miss them too. But this is likely the last chance we’ll have to do something like this before the kids’ summer schedules get crazier and they are pulled in various directions. So for now, I’m pulling them in tight and I’m not letting go for a wonderfully long summer as Just Us. 

Believing Your Own Awesome

At what point do you let yourself believe your own Awesome? I had two clients pay me very big compliments over the course of the last 24 hours. And in both instances, my initial thought was “phew. Pulled that one off!” Really? What is that? Why not let myself believe I am exactly what I am to them and what I’ve been to countless clients over the last 7 years? I have two theories on that. The second is probably the most likely. So let’s start with the first. The first is if I let myself believe my own awesome, then I’ve got an ego. And having an ego means I’m a full of myself, class A jerk. It could also mean I stop working to learn and challenge myself. I lose my hunger and my edge. I also realize most of that is likely complete lies I tell myself. Like I said, it’s a theory.

So onto theory #2. If I believe it my own awesome, then it’s real. And that is scarier than any ego I’ve ever come up against. It means I am truly as good as they say I am. And that means I can go as big as I’ve ever wanted to go. I think that’s been true for a long time. But it’s easier to stay small. To quietly make enough money to contribute to my household, pay for the extras, take my family on vacation. But going bigger (which I really do want), means really going bigger. Saying out loud what my clients say to me. That I really am awesome at what I do and how I do it. That those ideal clients are truly attainable. On a consistent basis. I know that because they are happening.

I pour my true heart into my craft. I light up when I do it. If you’ve worked with me, you’ve seen the pure joy I do not hide when I glance at the back of my camera. Like a little girl.

So, there it is. Plain and simple. We are our own roadblock to believing our awesome. It’s easier to be “good.” Great is overwhelming. I’ve told many people in my life, I am painfully self-aware. I know my potential and I know what keeps me from achieving it. Stupid self-awareness.

And by the way, if you’re waiting for me to provide an all-encompassing answer to get past this, I don’t have it. But I’m certain I’m not the only person who feels this way, so I’m sharing. I will figure it out, in time, as I’m a constant work in progress.